Fear, feeling out of control, so many questions, confusion, sadness, and anger .. so much anger. The conversations that followed were difficult for me. I was constantly reminded how lucky and blessed I was, told that I should be rejoicing because of how God protected me. Truth is, I didn’t feel lucky or blessed. My life didn’t feel like a gift, it felt like a curse that I had to live with everyday after being held at gunpoint.

In an attempt to help, church leaders gave me “encouraging” scriptures, reminding me that God didn’t give me a spirit of fear. Those words were tough for me to hear because I was living with fear, so much fear!

I think everyone was ready to hear me speak of this moment as a testimony but I was still grieving the fact that I no longer felt safe in my own body.

One day I was reading the book of Ecclesiastes (Chapter 1). It was the part of the bible that made sense to me – “all of this is meaningless!” Reading that justified my apathetic way of thinking.

Then I got to chapter 3 and read that there is a season for everything; a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.

Reading those words encouraged me so much. simply because I finally felt like it was OKAY for me to be hurting and sad. I wasn’t as positive as everyone wanted me to be and I finally felt okay with that.

As Christian women we are often met with the pressure to always dance and always laugh but that is an unrealistic expectation we have placed on ourselves. 

If I can encourage you in any way, give yourself permission to go through the necessary seasons of life. It won’t always be spring and summer, you will experience some winter and fall seasons but know that they are temporary and serve a purpose.

This life can get difficult because of the curse on mankind in a fallen world, but there is purpose and grace for all of us in it!

Hold on to the hope that we have in Christ! God doesn’t need for us to always feel happy, he just wants us to always hold on to his hand along the way.

Do not force a feeling because it seems positive, allow yourself to go through those tough moments in life. Be honest with God about how you are feeling but know that He will redeem it all.

Here are Encouraging Scriptures if you are in a Difficult Season:

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Ecclesiastes 3:1

⁸ You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. ⁹ My enemies will retreat when I call to you for help. This I know: God is on my side!

Psalm 56 8-9

¹⁶ And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you.

John 14:16

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 147:3

If you have some time today, listen to the song He Has Time (live) by Common Hymnal and Jamie Macdonald. It is easy to feel alone or distant from God when you are in a tough season of life. Let the words of this song be spoken over you and know that God has time and is near. He has time for your tears, your pain, your hurts .. so cling to him! As the song says, He’s not in a  rush, He has time for your healing! Don’t lose hope, this is not the end of your story! 

Jesus is a good friend! He always has time: to weep with you, comfort you, and allow you to feel all that you feel. The friend that is always available, you don’t have to hold back because He can handle all of it. Not only can he handle it, He can heal it!