During this era of social media and the increase of screen time during this pandemic, it’s easy to find ourselves comparing our lives to others. This is dangerous because we can start determining our value–our worth–based on our comparison to others.
I’ve been guilty of this. I’ve compared my looks, my achievements, my God-given gifts, and even my personality to other people. It’s definitely a self-esteem destroyer. You can spiral and start believing you aren’t worth anything. That’s why we have to learn how to live by God’s standards and not society’s standards. Here are five things to remember when you find yourself stuck in comparison.
REMEMBER HOW GOD SEES YOU
When God sees you, He sees what His Son, Jesus, did for you on the cross. God knows everything about you. From your past, present, and future mistakes, and yet, He still loves you and accepts you just the way you are.
Romans 8:38 states, “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.”
It’s so important for us to grasp this truth from God so when we view other people’s blessings, it doesn’t stray us away from God or question our worth or our ability. We are God’s heir. Let’s remember that we are valuable in God’s eyes and He created us for a reason. Speak that truth over your life.
REMEMBER THAT EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS
When we compare ourselves to others, it’s often because we desire something they have. Even if some of your dreams came true or all your desires were fulfilled, your worth does not come from those things. This life is temporary. Comparing ourselves to others is exhausting and pointless.
In Ecclesiastes 1:2, King Solomon makes the bold claim that, everything is meaningless.
“I observed everything going on under the sun, and really, it is all meaningless—like chasing the wind.”
Solomon was one of the richest men to ever walk the earth. He had everything he could possibly want—luxury, power, women… everything. Even with having everything that he could possibly want, King Solomon writes that life without God is meaningless.
Comparison, jealousy, and envy are not of God. Some of the things you want or envy—whether it’s someone’s hair, their marriage, their business success, or their body type—whatever it is—they can be good things—but it’s meaningless to compare because none of it matters without God. Having those things does not bring you life.
God is your center. God is your focus. God is your everything. We have to constantly feed ourselves this reminder and remember this so when times of comparison come, we can stand firm and remember, “Hey, my worth comes from God. I have all that I need right now.”
“Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.”
REMEMBER WHAT MATTERS MOST
The only way to remember how unique and valuable you are in God is by filling yourself up with the Word. We can easily stray from God’s truth when we constantly consume earthly things. But, when we spend time with God, He reminds us of how much He loves us.
There will always be someone who knows more, someone who fits society’s standard in looks more than you do, but guess what? No one’s opinion matters but God’s. God is the Judge. The Creator. He is your First Love. Look to Him, not society.
God’s love for you and what He has done for us, and His desire for a relationship with you, is what’s most important to Him. It should be most important to us as well. Continue to nurture your relationship with God and everything else will begin to fall into place (Matthew 6:33).
Note: You may think you aren’t qualified or good enough to even be in God’s presence. Honestly, none of us are good enough but He still loves us. He still wants us. He still holds us despite our sins.
Don’t compare your sinful past to other people’s past mistakes. No sin is worse than another. Some sins may have a bigger consequence than some, but in God’s eyes, all sins are on the same level. You may have sinned so bad compared to someone else but that does NOT disqualify you from God’s love.
“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed…” (Isaiah 54:10).
No matter how many times you’ve screwed up, God’s love is still there to receive. Because you messed up, because you were a lost sheep, he wants you to come to Him. He is constantly seeking you. Constantly by your side. All you have to do is open your heart to Him and receive Him. Receive His love for you. You are good enough in God’s eyes.
YOU ARE UNIQUE.
When we compare ourselves, we’re inadvertently saying God did not make us right or God didn’t give us the right blessings or opportunities. Remember, “…[you are] fearfully and wonderfully made; [His] works are wonderful…” (Psalms 139:14). God created you just the way you are. When we question how we look or where we are in life, we are insulting God’s good works in us. Remember, you aren’t less than. You are unique and wonderfully made in God’s eyes and He loves all His creations.
COUNT Y0UR BLESSINGS.
When we don’t have something we want, we can easily start resenting God for things we don’t have. To combat this, let’s start remembering the things we do have. Even if it’s something as simple as thanking him for filling our lungs today. Let’s take Paul as an example. Paul gave thanks in all circumstances, even while he was in prison. God was his hope, his lifeline. Paul knew everything would work out according to God’s good will despite his current circumstance. Let’s count our blessings and remember that God provides for us, giving us all that we need to thrive on today.
You have all that you need today.
You are right where God wants you in life. Whether that’s married or single. Whether that’s with a college degree or not. You are right where you are suppose to be.
Comparison can either make you prideful or crush your self-esteem. Regardless, the main way to stop comparing ourselves to others is to build our foundation with God’s truth; constantly feeding ourselves what God says about us and what He has done for us. We are not made to be perfect, yet we are made just the way we are by God’s grace and righteousness. There is nothing we can achieve that will reward us God’s acceptance and love. Let’s start believing we are made perfect and we are loved just the way we are through God’s sacrifice. Let’s start loving our neighbors as ourselves by supporting them and cheering for their success as if it was our own.